Navigating Spirituality: How to Handle Conflict with Others

One of the strongest evolutionary patterns of the mind is the need for safety.

If we can wrap our heads around something, if we understand the meaning of something (or lack thereof), our thoughts can settle. Meaning is assigned, and we can relax into it.

One of the most uncomfortable situations we can experience is not knowing.

Not knowing the meaning of something. Remaining in a state of emptiness.

When we engage in spiritual work, our perception shifts. This is its purpose – to attain a new perspective.

However, the greatest peril in spirituality lies in hastily assigning meaning. When we hastily attach meaning to something, we weave a new narrative around it. Instead of discovering the ultimate Truth, we become ensnared in a fresh narrative. One that might be improved, but is still not the Truth.

When two individuals meet and conflict arises, we swiftly accept our own version of the truth.

One person holds their own version of the truth, while the other person has their own interpretation.

Conflict always presents an opportunity for learning – learning about ourselves, understanding our role in the situation.

And also for the other person to gain self-awareness, to recognize their role in this.

For both individuals, it’s a chance to comprehend each other.

Our task is to honor our own perspective, but most importantly, to take responsibility for our role in every conflict.

During conflicts, the challenge lies in setting aside our own need to be right, to be seen and heard, and truly opening our ears, minds, and hearts to understand the other person.

And if we manage to do so, we discover harmony.

This harmony is the ultimate goal, and only after attaining it, the process concludes.


“I was trying so hard to not waste my time, but in a way I was wasting my life.”

– Jesse van der Velde

For many years I was restless. My mind would never stop. Always thinking about “what’s next”. “How can I grow further”. Both as a person, as well as in my business. I would go to the sauna with my wife Marjolijn, and I would still constantly be thinking, creating, visualizing. Like I couldn’t waste any minute. Truth is, I was totally wasting those beautiful moments.

About 6 years ago I started to see this pattern. I saw that I had achieved most of the goals that I had, but I was still restless. Struggling to become silent within myself. I started to dislike that reality a lot. I got frustrated with my own restlessness. Frustration + restlessness aren’t a good combination, I can tell you that!

This was during the time my son got born, my first child. I would be with him and I would still be thinking about business. I knew I wasn’t present with him. But holding him, made me think. It was like he was teaching me. Slowly teaching me to just be. His vulnerability as a baby. So pure, so authentic. Untouched. What a beautiful teacher.

It got me to re-think the concept of time. My concept of time always was: don’t waste it. Be productive. But with that, I was wasting beautiful moments in my life. Where I wasn’t truly present. Where I couldn’t just “be”.

I was trying so hard to not waste my time, but in a way I was wasting my life. What a big contradiction.

The first time I took a plant medicine about 4 years ago, the medicine was showing me this restlessness I still had. Even in the ceremony, singing and sitting around the fire on Saturday evening, I felt restless, lol! Thinking: “what do I DO with this”, “how do I FIX this” (this being the thing I was shown by the medicine, in that moment). Slowly I started to learn, that especially in ceremony, there’s nothing to “do”. Just be.

And isn’t that true for life in general?

Isn’t life so much about finding that ability to just “be”?

To be completely one with the moment. With yourself. With your heart. With your emotions in that particular moment. Even being OK with the emotions you don’t like?

That to me, is true presence.

It is being OK with whatever is.

Presence is being OK with whatever is. It is tested in the circumstances and emotions you don’t like. Giving them your breath, your full attention. Being there fully in the moment, with all that is, standing strong like a warrior but vulnerable with your heart open at the same time, is presence.

– Jesse van der Velde

Life is almost like is a test. Constantly providing circumstances to test us. Not for the goal of testing us, but it being a test as a result of the fact that we still haven’t learned!

It isn’t until you accept that all that lives within you, like restlessness was living within me, can be seen as a test, that you can play the game of fixing it.

And that fixing is done through giving anything that lives inside you, your breath. Breathing to it. Giving it your full attention. So you give it space.

Because from that space, you can find a new perspective. And heal it.

A new perspective can never be found through ignoring something, overruling it with our mind, let alone by “doing”. And that is what we’ve learned through Personal Development: to act in spite of fear, to do regardless of what you feel. If you want to be successful, yes, you need to do it that way. But if you want to be happy, whole, if you want to know who you are, you have to take time to be fully present with yourself and your feelings. You have to be with what lives inside of you. You have to look at it, feel it, research it. So you can then find a new perspective. That is healing. A new perspective.

Healing is about finding a new perspective.

– Jesse van der Velde

I found the way to heal my restlessness.

And through that, I found presence. Presence with my family. Finding the ability to fully be with them, not thinking about work. Not thinking about what’s next. Enjoying the endless energy, creativity, love and joy of my kids.

Because enjoying the moment, is what life is about. And through that, no time is wasted, ever.

The fundamental difference between Health and being “Free of disease”

There is a fundamental difference between health and “free of disease”.

Most people say “I’m healthy” referring to the fact they’re not ill.

But many of them, unfortunately, are far from optimal health.

Their bodies are struggling.

Struggling to digest the “food-like-products” they eat.
Struggling to store the excess amounts of food they eat.
Struggling to keep going on a lack of sleep and excess stress.
Struggling to perform without adequate rest, silence or inner peace.
Struggling to stay healthy with a lack of water, sunlight and grounding, and not enough nutrients.

The body is strong, it will always strive to provide and stay alive.
But it is our job to listen to its signals.

Choose nutrients over calories.
Choose rest over performance.
Choose activity over sitting.
Choose nature over technology.
Choose calmness and happiness over worries.

Choose “I can” over “I can’t”.

You are not meant to live a life of silent disease, slowly gaining weight or living with illness for the last 20 years of your life.

You are meant to live in joy, health, happiness.

You are meant to have a health span that equals your life span.
Getting there is a path.
Starting, is a choice.

A choice you can always make, regardless of where you are today. Regardless if you currently feel like you have that choice.

Choose true health.

For yourself.
For your family.

The 1 profound question every entrepreneur should repeatedly ask themselves

The question every entrepreneur should repeatedly ask themselves is:

WHY am I truly in business?

Business is a spiritual game.

It asks everything of you, every day. It asks you to face every fear, every struggle, every doubt, to build your dream.

Every entrepreneur needs to understand that every single thing happening inside your organisation is a direct REFLECTION of you and what lives inside of you.

Every challenge, every opportunity you see or not see, take or not take, every person you hire or leaves your team.

It is all a reflection of the person you have become, or need to become, to build your dream.

Entrepreneurship is an inner path of becoming.

And the main question and main driver is: WHY am I truly in business?

Once you’ve made it to financial freedom, then what?

Most people then keep going for more and more.

More and more.

Unconsciously still trying to fill that need they couldn’t find within themselves.

The inner path is understanding that part of you and going beyond it.

What are you truly after?

When you die, what is it that you’d like to leave behind?

What is going to live after you die?

We live in a time where anything is possible, and once you live that truth, what do you wish to create that serves a bigger purpose?

That is no easy question to answer.

But the journey to finding out what that is to you is not only worth walking.

It is why you truly became an entrepreneur in the first place.

It is now time to sit down. Quiet your mind. Don’t think.

Set an intention to find your why.

Allow something greater than you to give you an inspiration you might never have had.

For that to happen, get your mind out of the way and feel.

This is your time.

Go live your truth.

Why The Entire “Control Your Mind” Theory is WRONG and How to Truly Deal With Fear

Could everything you’ve learned about controlling your mind to date, be wrong?

“If you want to be successful, you have to control your mind. “

… is what they say.

But any person telling you that isn’t seeing the full picture yet.

Because wanting to CONTROL the mind always comes from the fear of losing control.

And fear is never a good place to live from.

Humans want to be FREE.

The experience of FREEDOM is what we’re truly after.

And that freedom is NEVER found by trying to control the mind.

Listening to our heart is the PRACTICE of SURRENDERING to our feelings.

Breath deep. Let go.

Living FREE comes from the ability to SURRENDER.

Be smart. Use your mind what it’s for. But don’t try to control fear.

Let your HEART inform you on your path. In every decision. In every moment.

That is where freedom is found.

Psychedelic Integration Program – Introduction

Welcome, I have created this online program Psychedelic Integration to help you integrate your experience with plant medicines, entheogens or psychedelics into your life. This will allow you to get the most out of your experience and you will have a better feel and understanding of what you have seen.

In recent years I have seen many people around me who found it difficult to actually integrate their experiences in a plant medicine ceremony into their lives. Maybe you have experiences with San Pedro, Psilocybin Mushrooms or Truffles (which I also work with myself because they are legal in the Netherlands), Kambo, Iboga, Bufo Alvarius or maybe another. As you have experienced, these are special plant medications, with a lot of ‘Ancient Wisdom’. Every plant medicine ceremony requires us to integrate the experience. To bring the experience into our daily lives. How do we bring the experience, insights and new vision to our daily lives, to our family or business? In this training we integrate the experiences using different principles from the ‘Ancient Wisdom’ of the shamans. 

Ancient Wisdom
I myself have had several shamanic mentors, during which I received training and initiations. Among others from the Q’ero shamans. Each and every one of them very wise older men who confronted me, sometimes straightforwardly and sometimes with a lot of pleasure, with the stories and identifications that I held on to, but that had not served me for a long time. All this wisdom of the shamans and insights I would like to share with you through this program.  

Watch the video below

A beautiful plant medicine ceremony, but then what?
A few years ago I felt a bit lost, confused and overwhelmed after experiencing my very first plant medicine ceremony myself. Even though there was a lot of love and bliss at the same time. I had beautiful visions and it was a time of great transformation for me. However, at the same time, after this special experience, I wondered: what now? What do I do now?

If you have just experienced a plant medicine ceremony, you will go through a deep transformation process. Maybe all your wounds from the past that have not yet healed or maybe even from past lives. At the same time, you may have had visions for the future. It is important to take the time to deeply integrate this experience, these lessons and insights. And as they integrate, they integrate and unfold far beyond what you ever thought was possible! Many years later you will see how the insights in your life have unfolded and then you will realise that in the ceremony you have learned lessons that you did not think you needed.

 “Integration way beyond your imagination”

About this program
This is such a beautiful and deep path to walk, a path that yields so much. I have created this program from my heart in which you will integrate your experiences step by step. A program in ten steps based on 7 principles. In which I give you space and frameworks to discover your own wisdom through 3 profound guided breathing and writing meditations. I cordially invite you to follow this whole training, of which the first three parts plus 2 guided breathing and writing meditations are completely free of charge. 

Click here to watch the first part of the training.

Psychedelic Integration Program – Step #3 Excited Non-Expectation

For me, the path of plant medicine is such a profound path full of wisdom and I find it a privilege to be able to guide you through it. It is a deep inner path where we understand ourselves and life much better. In this video, I would like to share the third principle with you.

There is so much more to become aware of and understand than science. Through a deep inner path, as with the plant medicines, we reconnect with our heart, with nature and with that which is greater than ourselves. That journey in itself is so special and joyful. Of course healing ourselves is both difficult and painful at the same time, as I have experienced myself. I have looked at many dark sides of myself and healed so much pain that it came to light. Every healer is also in his own process to heal himself – and so am I.

The third principle
I often looked outside myself when I did not feel well or when something did not go the way I wanted or had hoped it would. I thought I would have to change something in my environment. Stop my business or go and live among the shamans in nature… But in hindsight I am so glad I did not do that, because something inside me wanted to be healed. So fleeing from that would not have solved the problem.

Of course, sometimes it is important to end something in your life, something that is no longer good for you. But I have learned that you can often only make this decision when you have learned the lessons that are in this situation. This is very much about ‘excited non-expectation’, the third principle in this Psychedelic Integration Program. In a way, can you be excited about everything in your life, even if you do not like it? Can you find your own process, lessons and growth in every situation, instead of projecting your expectations on others? Instead of wanting to escape from the situation or reality.

“Truly find your own medicine within”

Watch the video below

A personal example
“This is not how it supposed to be”, that is the story I have told myself for a while. I have three companies, but growing all three on my own was too much in hindsight. They should make a lot of profit right away, but when that became more difficult, it all came down to me and I kept thinking: this is not how it should be! Things got better when I asked for help, step by step. I had so many expectations of life, of people around me, and had a clear picture of what life should be like. It was a difficult time because my expectations of others and of life did not match my reality at the time. Then struggles arise within yourself.

I had to learn to let go of my expectations. To accept what is really there and to stay with it. With two feet firmly on the ground, without leaving it. To see that things, even if they are not how I want them, are sometimes exactly as they should be. To learn from or grow from. Try to be enthusiastic about the journey of life, with all its situations and events.

“You have made long journeys with the plant medications, but then bring yourself back firmly to earth with two feet.”

“You travelled far and beyond with the plant medicine, but bring yourself back after with two feet solid on the ground”

Assignment in this video
My invitation is to close your eyes and turn inside. Breathe in and out deeply and let this principle affect you. Where can you let go of your expectations? The idea of what life should be like? How can I put my two feet back firmly on the ground? How can I really accept the situation I am in? Because that is what we have to do.

Do you want to continue with the Psychedelic Integration Program?
This was the last video of this free training. Do you want to continue training? Further deepening? Deeper integration? More frameworks and support for moments of peace, silence and meditation in your life? I kindly invite you to follow the rest of the training as well, click on the link below for more information.

I would also like to invite you to attend an online ceremony of one hour. We do not use plant medication, but I will guide you through different worlds with the help of, among others, the shamanic drum. With the aim of integrating your plant medicine experience.

This is the last video of the free part of the Psychedelic Integration Program.

Psychedelic Integration Program – Step #2B New Story Writing (Guided Ceremony)

Welcome back to the second guided breathing and writing meditation. I invite you to create a lovely quiet place for yourself. A place where you are alone and cannot be disturbed. Take your time. Through this guided session you can integrate new insights and experiences.

Grab some paper, a notebook or diary and a pen. Maybe you would like to light a candle, close the curtains and get a lovely cup of tea. You are going through such a great process. Not always easy, but authentic. You will find new ways to gain more love and more joy in your life. You live your life from a whole new place, a new vision. Plant medications accelerate this process and give you insights into what might still stand in the way of old patterns, beliefs or stories that no longer serve you. They offer you opportunities for healing, expansion and growth.

Watch the video below

The preparation
Breathe in deeply into your stomach and then breathe out deeply
Bring your attention to the area around your heart
Welcome all the emotions and feelings that present themselves
Breathe in those emotions and feelings
Continue to breathe deeply

The visualisation
Now visualise a vast space like a meadow, the forest, the mountains or an ocean
Feel the nature around you
Make contact with the infinite possibilities we have as a human being
Feel that you are free
That there is no past to stop you

You have come into this body as a soul to bring something to this earth: your Being, your love, your creativity… To find your way in this earthly experience. You can choose how you want to play in this earthly experience, with all the infinite possibilities you have at your disposal. Make the choice from a place of love and harmony and not from (unconscious) fears. 

“Never be afraid to choose, even if you don’t know the answer yet”

The questions
You have this life, what are you going do with it? 
Do you live life to the fullest and experience enough joy and pleasure?
If you see yourself in this vast environment, through this visualisation, what do you want to choose for your life?
What do you want to do?
What is your vision?
What do you want to experience?
What are you surrendering to?
What new greater truth do you allow in your life?
Do you see your true beauty and power? Can you feel this? Can you make contact with this?
Can you say yes to your heart?
Can you say yes to your full potential?

Know that it is also very good if there are no direct or no answers, if you cannot make contact with your dreams, your heart or your vision yet. It is about the process and it is a pleasure to make room for it. There does not have to be an immediate result. It is about opening the door to the new one. That you open yourself up to new possibilities. Take the time to write down your insights in your notebook or diary.

This video is part of the free part of the Psychedelic Integration Program

Click here for the next part of the training, session 3.

Psychedelic Integration Program – Step #2A Story

Welcome to the second part of the Psychedelic Integration Program. I hope you had a great experience during the previous breath and writing meditation. I hope you are integrating your plant medicine experiences deeper and deeper into your body.

In the western world we are so result-oriented that we often want to apply an experience (such as with plant medicines) directly in our lives. Wanting to change our lives right away and putting into practice what we have learned or experienced. But to integrate experiences, it is much more about being & allowing, then doing something again and performing an action. We are also inclined to subconsciously project what is going on inside us onto our surroundings. We often forget to take responsibility for our own part in this. That is where the healing of a part of yourself comes in.

Integration takes time
Integration is not about integrating into the outside world, but about integrating into your inner world! When your experiences are deeply integrated, you automatically know what the right next steps are in your life. It takes time. Patience will be discussed in more detail in a later video, but patience is important in a transformation process.

I myself have been in training with many different shamans. Among others the Q’ero shamans from Peru. I have had several initiations there, but it does not start until after the training. Then you can apply it to your life. What the shamans understand is that nothing has a meaning, things only get a meaning when we assign it. Daring to let go of our stories, concepts and identifications takes a lot of courage. These stories, concepts and identifications give us something to hold on to in life. But if we dare to let it go, we will come even closer to ourselves, to our essence. There is a lot of inner peace because we have do not have to ‘do’ anything except be fully present in the Now – in the present moment. Admitting what there is, to emotions, feelings and events. Without listening to your mind, which wants to turn it into a story again in order to understand it.

“Nothing in itself has meaning, only the meaning we attach to it” 

Watch the video below

The invitation
When we follow this deep inner path we connect ourselves with our heart, with our subconscious, with our intuition, with our body and our breath, but also with what is bigger than ourselves: the cosmos, spirit or the universe, with nature and mother earth. In this way, our awareness grows and our vision and perception also grows. We do not want to be limited in this by all kinds of old ‘stories’ that we tell ourselves, but that no longer serve us. The invitation is to live out of love, abundance, harmony, connection and joy, without squeezing or ignoring our emotions (including anger). The invitation is to be as present as possible in the present moment, the Now. With everything there is.

“We live in a universe with infinite possibilities”

“We live in a universe with infinite possibilities”

We live in a universe with infinite possibilities. In a universe where we have a free choice to control our lives. Only you can choose a new reality, by connecting to a place within yourself that is much deeper than you may have experienced before. A place where your soul gets space too. The more often we dare to be silent, turn inward, open our hearts and connect with them, the easier it becomes to hear the desires of our souls.

In the next video I would like to invite you to a new guided session and writing meditation in which you can integrate new insights and experiences.

This video is part of the free part of the Psychedelic Integration Program

Click here for the next video: A guided writing session (rewriting your story).